I recently read a blog post by a woman named Kate Conner titled "Ten Things I Want to Tell Teenage Girls." It was all about how as a girl you are unique and special and beautiful. All true. I completely agree. However, it got me thinking about what teenage boys need to hear. As it turns out, they need to hear very different things. I call this "Ten Things I Want to Tell Teenage Boys". And yes, I'm speaking from personal experience.
1] Shut. Your. Stupid. Mouths. I promise that when I say this I say it with all the love and brotherly affection blah blah blah just shut up. A sure sign that you don't know what the hell you are talking about is when you will not stop talking. No one believes you when you brag about how tough you are or how how good you are at Call of Duty because everyone knows you're showing off. So just keep quiet. Please. You'll have more friends that way.
2] Girls are a waste of time. Don't believe the crap they sell in movies these days. If someone marries their high school sweet heart, it's a rare exception to the rule and you are not the exception. All you'll get from dating in high school is drama and stress and a slimmer wallet. Also, while you're a teenager, DO NOT make friends with a girl whom you think is attractive. EVER. Everrrrrr. This is probably the one rule all boys know they should follow but refuse to follow because, well, because chicks are hot. Be strong, brothers. Be strong.
3] Spend money on the right things. If you spend your money on only the right things, you'll have more money to keep spending on the right things. If you spend money on the wrong things, your whole life will be a miserable failure. No I'm not exaggerating. So save your money. Buy a sweet ride. Get an awesome phone. Have a nice wardrobe. DO NOT buy alcohol, drugs, or anything for a girl because in all three instances you're paying for something that will probably get you killed.
4] Don't talk tough, be tough. Little dogs bark the loudest. Don't be a little dog. Be a big dog. Or better yet, be a bear. You don't need to work out and be jacked to be tough. Toughness is a state of mind. If a big guy starts picking on you and you're only 100 pounds dripping wet, fight the temptation to start yapping. Instead, knock that sucker out. Pick up something heavy and hit him with it. Kick him in the balls. Bite his ear off. Whatever. You'll probably take a serious beating, but do it anyway. Never be afraid to stand up for yourself or the things you believe in. Don't begin with violence, though. The way to be a true badass is to perfect the art of reaction. Don't be the guy who starts a fight, be the guy who finishes it.
5] Watch a couple episodes of 16 and Pregnant. You know where I'm going with this. If you're gonna be "sexually active" in high school, wear a condom. I'm 22 and a virgin and I don't feel like I've missed a thing so my advice is to wait until you're married, but I know that doesn't fly with most people. So if you're going to do it, be smart. I don't care if she says she's on the pill or you're some kind of "pull out ninja", don't be an idiot. Wear one every single time.You can never be too safe. If she gets pregnant, your life will never be the same. Assuming you have a life at all after her father is done with you.
6] Show some respect. You want doors to open in your life? You want people to listen to you and take you seriously? Then you have got to be respectful. This means no hypocrisy, no bullying, no shooting your mouth off, and it means you had better listen to your elders and betters for damn sure. Every time I got myself into trouble it was because I wouldn't listen to people who knew better than me. You think you're so smart and you know so much more about your situation than anyone else but you're dead wrong. Respect your parents, respect your teachers and respect your employer and they'll be there for you when you need help and trust me, you'll need help. And always be respectful of women even when they don't respect themselves.
7] Try to pay for everything yourself. If you can't pay for it yourself, try to do without it. Also, avoid borrowing money. That just leads to headaches and broken fingers, depending on who you borrow from. There's a sense of pride involved when you pay your own way and I guarantee you'll feel it. You can hold your head up higher knowing you don't owe anyone any money. However, you must never, ever allow yourself to dwell on a debt. If someone borrows money from you, only lend it if you're comfortable with not getting any of that money back. No one likes a loan shark and if you become one, a bitter life is sure to follow.
8] Seize the day. Don't let a day go by where you regret not getting something done. If you've got a big homework assignment you know is due next week, get a little work done on it every day. Don't think you're going to have to spend a whole Saturday working on it, because then you'll put it off until Sunday. Just a little work each day gives you plenty of time to enjoy yourself without the building stress of knowing you accomplished nothing. If you need to talk to someone, don't wait until you run into them again. Go out of your way to find them and have that talk. If it's worth doing, it's worth doing now.
9] Go to church. Maybe you're not a Christian and maybe you've got moral issues with Christianity, but that isn't going to stop me from telling you that if I wasn't going to church every Sunday when I was in highschool, I'd be dead by now. I know that what a teenage guy needs more than anything else is the belief that there is always someone you can turn to who will always have your back, no matter what. For me, that guy was Jesus and the boys I hung with at church. The best friends I ever made were the ones who shared my faith in Christ. I've got a list of numbers in my phone and if I need to, I can call any one of them and there'll be a guy coming to help me out and all those numbers belong to people from church. So if you've got issues with the church and you won't give Christ a chance in your life, I pity you. But if you're willing to give it a shot, go now. Don't wait until you think you're cleaned up enough to show up at church, just go. I promise you that everyone who goes to church is just as screwed up and crazy as you are and that among that group of crazy screw ups you'll find yourself a crew of boys that you can conquer anything with.
10] Stop scratching your junk in public. Seriously. I nut-punch punks who do that in front of me. Don't get nut-punched. Just stop it.
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