What's happened since the last time I posted? I managed to come back to school by taking out a student loan. I'm so poor right now, since the money hasn't come through yet, I can't even afford books. I need to get on top of accepting the loan from my account. I should have had that done by Friday. Anyway, I'm here again. Just like I wanted to be. Just like Jordan doesn't want to be.
I hate that she hates it here. She's told me that, if not for me, she wouldn't have even bothered coming back. Which terrifies me. I've never wanted to be that important in someone's life. It's a heavy burden to bear and not one I'm sure I have the guts for. Legs like pencils do not a Grecian column make. I wish she had more here to love than just me. I don't want to be the center of her world just yet.
What I do want is to skip through time like a stone on the mirrored waters of a crystal lake, reflecting the pinpoint stars with a face so black I could step out and fall down through a hole in the ground, tumbling through an infinite ocean of burning lights for eternity, watching them swirl around me, the center of their universe, until I waste away to dust, a myriad of sparkling motes that join the heavenly lights who tango on the face of the lake. I can't imagine a fate more irresponsible and, therefore, more tempting.
I've seen pictures taken by cameras specially tuned to observe how the stars change location in the sky over a period of time. It really does make me wish I could speed up or slow down time to watch such magnificent things myself, instead of having to flip through a magazine for a glossy still shot.
Jordan is back, so we're going to go watch some anime. Her kiss tasted like apples. Because she eats packets of apple cider mix.
